Love Really is a Drug

Love is the most painful drug you will ever do in your life. I always thought it was just a quote that hopeless romantics would say. I now know, they weren’t kidding. Going through falling in love, then being in love, and having to go through a breakup or falling out of love is exactly like a high. 

You start off with the initial hit of the drug, or starting off by talking to someone. This is the by far the best part of the whole situation. You feel a new type of air go into your lungs and your body starts adjust to the change. At this point, you being to fall inlove. Everything is new, you’re so excited to learn everything there is to know about the person in which you chose to risk your heart with. You stay up all night not because you want to, because you simply can’t fall asleep. Just like how you feel after your first hit, you’re on such a high you couldn’t imagine stopping right now. 

The real high starts to set in. You can feel that you are slowly losing control and starting to feel different. This is by far the most enduring phase but also the scariest. You’re on top of the world, everything around you is nothing but honestly, rainbows and sunshine. Your high from the drug enters your brain and you feel invincible. In your relationship, this is everything that makes being with someone so worth it. It’s not being able to stop smiling because you keep looking over and wondering how a human could be so damn beautiful. It’s the kisses that make your legs shake, and the hot, hot, sex that send shivers down your spine.  You’re on the high of your life, and this is what you become addicted to; this sick, twisting feeling. 

Finally, the burnout. This is the realization point. You start sobering up and the high begins to fade. All you want to do is sleep. You never realize how much being on a high could take out of you. In the relationship, this is where the little arguments start. The late night phone calls that have you questioning if it’s even worth it. You put so much energy and time into this person, but is it worth it? In your high, you feel like crap when you start burning out. Your high is over and you’re slapped back into the harsh reality that you were trying to escape from initially. This is the part where you decide to give up, you aren’t going to go spark up again, you’ve simply had enough. This is also known as the breakup. It’s learning to breathe again, this time with fresh, new, air instead of the drug infested one you became used to. Having to live without someone you could once rely on to bring you so much happiness is sick. You really did lose yourself in that high, and you’re back to square one. The next day you feel like shit, and quite honestly, in both the high and relationship, bed really does seem like the best option. That’s the thing I hate about pot, and shitty fucking relationships, you can go on without it, but you still want that high. Whether that high is with the same old drug, or same old person. You forget how much the burnout takes out of you because the high was that much better. 

So why do we fall inlove? Why do we so drugs? Because of the high. Because we need something to crave. Because everyone is looking for that one thing that brings us a spark of happiness. 

Find your high, I really hope you do. I want you not to just find your marijuana high, I want you to find your meth, or heroin high. The high you can’t live without, the one you twitch without. Don’t you dare settle for anything less. Find your drug you never burnout for. The one that leaves you having to go back for another hit because you can’t imagine being without your high. So don’t stress out when you finally burnout because I promise you, you will find your ecstasy, your heroin, your cocaine. So don’t be scared of starting new, just don’t worry when it’s not the high for you. So this time, don’t bother asking if you should go again, go and look forward to what this high is going to bring, but don’t lose yourself along the way.

Never stop questioning,

Questioning Queen